Dr Jekyl's Wedding Night
After a obligatory, lengthy Victorian
courtship and an exquisite Christian wedding, Dr. Henry Jekyll was
aware of only one thought in his raven hared head: Is it bedtime
yet? As he watched the last of the distinguished, albeit utterly
unrecognizable, guests kiss Emma upon the cheek, he decided that it
was not possible for any man in England to be more sexually frustrated
than himself at this moment.
"For heavens sake, woman! Let
them leave!" He moaned through his teeth, shifting his
weight from foot to foot, watching as Emma politely bantered with each
guest. He found his eyes staring at the pale skin on her graceful
neck, the extent of her sinful revelations to him thus far, and began
to sweat inside his topcoat, finguring the collar of his tuxedo with
angst. Not that he wasn't appreciative of the incredible presence of
his beaming wife in her wedding gown!
He found the strength to keep himself from
shedding the coat, rationalizing his feelings in light of his
Victorian upbringing. I shouldn't be thinking these racy thoughts,
but if a man on his wedding day could not turn his thoughts to those
of....procreation....then who? He let his eyes trail lazily over
the lace of her skirt, the beading on the corset, the tightness of the
fabric against he bust line-
"Henry, come and say goodbye!" Emma
called, her musical voice bringing him out of his lustful thoughts. He
snapped to attention, just barely catching a bead of drool with the
back of his hand before it spilled from the corner of his mouth.
No, no, no! Can't we quicken the pace a
bit? It's nearly nine o'clock! He felt his mouth open and without
thinking, he shouted rather loudly,
The word was barely out of his mouth before
Emma shot him a disapproving glare and he leaped to her side without
hesitation, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. Where are my
manners? Perhaps if I kiss the old hag and pat her decrepit husband on
the back they will go! He did his best to be the doting young man
Emma married, although he found it difficult to be gracious when he
had no idea who these guest were. He vaguely remembered something
about Emma's brief: "She is my great Aunt Clarisse and I simply had
to invite her." from earlier at the reception, but throughout the
dizzying evening he had met at least 14 aunt Clarisse's, and for the
most part disliked them all. As he kissed her overly powdered cheek,
it occurred to him that he had known possibly ten people in the entire
reception party, himself and Emma included, and that his wedding was
perhaps the chance Sir Danvers was searching for to reunite everyone
he had ever come in contact with in one room.
"At last, they are all gone!" Henry
exclaimed when the door finally swung shut. Emma collapsed into the
nearest chair, beaming wildly.
"What a wonderful evening,
Henry...absolutely perfect!" She exclaimed, but shot him a
puzzled glance as he ripped his top coat from his shoulders, fighting
with the bow that held his ebony locks back.
"Yes, yes...absolutely lovely!" He
said, with as jovial a tone as he could muster. Perhaps I am giving
away my eagerness, but if I hesitate a moment longer my trousers will
explode. Emma was watching him with an air of amusement, still
resting in the chair.
"Henry, what on earth are you doing? You
can't possibly be that uncomfortable!" She said as he ripped the
tie away from his neck. "Sit down with me for a moment, let's
have tea and discuss the wedding." For a split second, Henry
Jekyll's face mirrored exactly that of a deer staring down the barrel
of a rifle.
"But...I...It's so late darling, we
should go to bed! Yes bed!" He faked a yawn for emphasis, before
striding to Emma's side and taking her hand, heaving her out of the
chair and dragging her out of the room, down the hall to the
"Henry! Goodness, have you lost you
She cried, as he swept her into his arms and carried her up the
stairs. I'm about to, Sweetheart... He barreled up the stairs,
carrying her as though she weighed nothing, pausing at the top of the
stares to catch his breath. "Henry, for heaven's sakes! It's no
wonder you're so tired, the bed will still be there, silly, no need to
rush." She looked at him then, his eyes so devilish, his face
flushed with excitement, and frowned a little frown. "Henry, I
was hoping we could look at the wonderful gifts..." she said
softly, but he continued to drag her down the hallway.
"I've got a gift for you...it's in
here!" He said, still talking overly loudly. And it's in my
pants--oh my, Henry, that was really bad!
"A gift? What sort of gift?" She
asked, and he tossed her upon the large bed they would share, slamming
the door shut behind him, turning to her and grinning like a mad man.
Perhaps now isn't the best time to discover that Emma's mother was
never around to discuss the fundamentals of womanhood, Henry! "A...uh...gift
of...love, YES! The gift of love!" He said, cursing under
his breath as he fought with the buttons on his shirt and trousers...
"Henry, how sweet..." She said, a
bit puzzled by his rapid shedding of clothes.
"Just lie back, and I will show you how
much I love you, my sweet Emma." He whispered as he finally
managed to remove his trousers, the cuffs getting caught on his boots.
Well this is bloody fantastic! He thought to himself, finally
having to sit on the floor in order to remove his shoes...
"Henry, I should imagine it is possible
to give a gift without being completely in the nude!" Emma
giggled, seeing his struggle.
"I'm afraid not, not this gift...I
should imagine you'd like to be nude as well, Darling." He
grunted, finally defeating his final boot and leaping to his feet,
wearing only his privies. He started towards Emma, sitting next to her
on the bed and placing a gentle kiss on her lips. Emma sighed with
contentment, until he drove his tongue practically down her throat,
moaning like a beast. She nearly choked, coughing and pushing him
"Henry! What on earth do you
think you are doing!" She exclaimed, seeing the bewildered look
of hurt on his face.
"Emma...I...I may not be as experienced
as some, but I know for a fact that you were supposed to find that
enjoyable." He said, genuinely confused.
"I was? Well, try again...perhaps
it takes some getting used to." She said hesitantly, and he did
so, wrapping his arms around her gently. She moaned a bit herself this
time, a cute little sound-a bit like a lab rat-that Henry found
incredibly adorable...stimulating as well. Way to go, Henry old
chap! Wait...Perhaps she is only doing that to follow suit? Maybe she
isn't enjoying it at all...Oh shut up, brain! Deciding that it was
up to him to make the move, Henry gently slid his hands up the back of
her dress, fingers fumbling for the collar buttons... "Henry,
what are you doing?" Emma asked, coming up for air from his
sudden investigation of the walls of her mouth.
"Come Emma, how can you enjoy yourself
when you're shut into this contraption? Let me undress you, like a
good husband should!" he said, kissing her again to avoid
protest...his hands fought with the zippers, buttons, buckles and
latches for almost a quarter of an hour. Sir Danvers you cunning
old man...you let me marry your daughter, but still manage to keep
me from getting under the blasted dress! Finally he managed to
remove the shell of the dress, and a good portion of the top half,
leaving her in her undershirt, hopping up and down on the floor in
order to remover her shoes and the skirt. He stood over her, coaching
her along, all thoughts of romance far from his mind at the sight of
her confusion. Perhaps some scissors...a hacksaw... he began to
ponder the many ways one could forcefully remove these articles of
clothing when she fell to her knees in front of him with a huff.
"At last, Henry!" She mumbled,
attempting to stand, glancing up at him the best she could from this
angle. He reached out to help her stand when she recoiled away in
fear. "Oh dear God, Henry! We shouldn't fool around like this!!
Look at you, there's something wrong with you! You're all
swollen!" He was taken aback for a moment by this comment, but
then burst into laughter, reaching out to help her again.
"No, darling! Don't strain
yourself..." She said, standing without his help taking him by
the arm and sitting him on the bed..."You need to rest, Henry!
What could we possibly have done to cause that..." I don't
know, but perhaps you could kiss it and make it bet-OKAY! That's
enough! He sighed with frustration, taking her by the arms.
"Trust me, Emma...I am a doctor…this
is supposed to happen."
"What? Why? That seems like it
should be awful painful, Henry."
"Oh Darling, it's not! It is a natural
bodily function needed for me to show you how much I love you."
He whined, tossing her down against the pillow. "Come now, are
you truly telling me you don't understand the proceedings here?"
She looked at him uncertainly...
"But what do you do with
it?" She asked.
"Shut your mouth and let mw show
you!" He shouted, practically screaming. With this he pounced on
her, hating the dragged out events, pondering how the hell he would
ever get Emma to consent to lovemaking at the rate they were going.
Step 1. Kiss your ignorant wife, Step 2. Lie her back against the bed,
Step 3. Gently place your hand - SLAP!
"DON'T YOU DARE put your hand
there!" She shouted, but he decided the only way to make her see
the light would be to continue on undaunted...
"Emma...please, I am your husband,
please, please, please trust me..." With that he leaned
into her ear, and whispered in a few precise, if not slightly risque,
sentences exactly what he had planned for the evening, in order of
events. I'll even use small words, Emma, so you're sure to
understand! Oooh, that was unnecessary...
She gasped, looking into his eyes, her face
unbelieving... "You must be out of your mind! That is NEVER
going to fit in THERE!"
"Trust me darling, please!" He
said, completely exasperated.
"Well...I'm not sure..."
"Emma, think of the children!"
"Oh! You didn't explain that!" She
said, and he used all his willpower to not slap her on the side of the
head. Please, God, give me strength...if I do not make love to this
woman in the next thirty seconds, I am going to have to take my own
life... "Well, just do as you said you would...but...I don't
have to touch it, do I?"
"Emma! This is supposed to be an
enjoyable process!" He shouted, stuffing a scarf from the bedside
table in her mouth, ignoring the mumbling. After nearly a half an hour
more of situating themselves and convincing Emma that this was a
common occurrence amongst married couples, Henry Jekyll breathed a
sigh of relief and leaned in to kiss his wife, pulling the covers up
"Henry?" Emma piped up softly when
he pulled away.
"Yes, Dear?" He said slowly through
"I suppose there is no stork."
"What in God's name are you talking
"If what you said is true, and this is
how a child is created...then my father was lying about the stork, was
Oh dear Lord, I would have preferred the
extra rib at this point...
Sex--And Nothing More II: Afterglow Angst
The sound shook the house, and Poole-on his
way up the stairs with a breakfast tray-jumped higher then he had
since grade school. He had heard of bliss, but this seemed a trifle
ridiculous! Of course it had been Miss Carew-er, Mrs. Jekyll who had
just shouted, and the refined young woman he knew so well would never
make such gratuitous noises during...copulation. Surely the doctor's
wit was the cause for her squeal, as Henry was often the ever-charming
fellow in her presence. Slowly, still a trifle shaken, he continued to
climb the stairs.
Good God! Poole thought to himself.
the doctor installed a carousel in his bed chamber? Soon after the
racket stopped, and he began to make his way down the hallway towards
their bedroom. All appeared silent, and despite the sudden peace Poole
felt awkward interrupting the two love birds, despite the unlikelihood
that he would be interrupting anything inappropriate. Surely Dr.
Jekyll and his wife were merely basking in their post-marital bliss.
He hoped to God, however, that Mrs. Jekyll was...sufficiently clothed.
The Doctor, too...for that matter.
"Oh Henry please...PLEASE? One more
round, lets give it a go!" Emma Jekyll pouted prettily from atop
Henry Jekyll's stomach, where she was currently perched.
"Good Lord, Emma...the bed cannot take
much more of this...why not lie down?" Apparently you haven't
done much missionary work, eh, Emma?
"Ooooh, but I like it up here, the view
is much better...Darling, you're simply toooooo cute!"
"Yes, but sweetheart, sunshine, love of
my life...my...eh....Manhood..is exhausted."
"Awww, Henry..." She whined, lying
down against his chest, resting her chin just below his. "It
appeared to be quite...energetic earlier..."
"Princess...that was eight long hours
ago...I think what I need most at this moment is sleep,
dearest..." And at the moment, you clingy little thing, your
precious manhood is being crushed at a very awkward angle...oh dear,
that smarts... "My darling baby doll, my dumpling, oh...for
an eloquent way to press this point..."
"What is it, Darling?"
"You're pressing my point...rather
painfully...." He gave her a curt little smile to show he wasn't
upset with her. God knows we wouldn't want you to cry, Emma...like
when I shouted "Oh Lord" and you were upset you had
interrupted my evening prayers...
"Oh no! Henry, I'm terribly
sorry..." She mumbled, moving from his chest to the mattress
beside him. Quick, Henry, take a breath before the sex-crazed
little constrictor attacks again! Like clockwork, she decided to
cuddle up against him and wrap her arms and legs around his entire
body... "There we go, my stallion, all warm and cozy..."
"Emma...perhaps we should take this
quiet time to define... Eh....one another's personal space..." Oh
she is so tiring...